LOST INSIDE MY BRAIN

I find it pretty easy to get lost inside my brain. I've never been sure if I am dyslexic. I had the chance to take the test once and I declined. I am fairly certain that if A.D.D were a diagnosis when I was in gradeschool, I would have qualified. So wondering if I have one or both of these syndromes, plagues my mind when I lay in bed skipping through decades of memories and future uncertainties, none of which are linked in any discernable fashion. This rapid succession of thought makes me dizzy and leaves me confused and breathless.

Had you asked me in my 40's when I was saved, if I thought the peace and surety of my salvation would be well established in my 60's, no doubt I would have answered yes. And in a general sense it is true. What isn't consistent is me. I am able to unravel all of the promises that Jesus has made to all believers, and one by one lay them aside until I am mentally falling in the dark. The anxiety that accompanies this is the result of my wrestling with independence.

Wondering how other men keep their faith alive is what draws me to fellowship with other men. The steadfastness of seasoned men has a certain firmness that only years of surrender can produce. Sometimes I am that man in the life of a newer Christian. But I cannot remain that man, as an encourager to other men, unless I demonstrate to him my own wrestling with the corruption of my flesh. And wrestle is what I do.

The grounding that I need at these times can always be found in scripture and prayer. Knowing this, I still flounder around, wallowing in self pity. It takes an act of the will, what is commonly known as spiritual discipline, to pry me out of my funk. This is particularly challenging when part of the funk I am in has it's origins in doubt and uncertainty about the promises of Christ.

One of the seven resloves of Johnathan Edwards, [yesterday's post], that I find great encouragment in, is resolve number five. He opens up a window into his soul by exposing his own wrestling with doubt. And he ends the reslove by stating that he will use all his will to fight the independence that the flesh desires.

Without rival, scripture memorization, has been my greatest comfort in periods of darkness and doubt, simply because I can recall it and recite it, not having to move. And it heals like a salve, because it is not a homily or chant. It is the very word of God, settling into my mind and bringing me back to Him.

JOHNATHAN EDWARDS [ 1703--1758]

Clearly one of the most influential preachers in the early part of our country's development. Formally educated at Yale, starting his freshman year just under the age of 13. His father a minister before him, he was the only son of 11 children. He graduated in 4 years as valedictorian and head of his class. His interest in theology and science were the basis of most of his writings. Scientific discoveries did not threaten his faith, on the contrary, he saw the laws of human nature as being derived from God.

Jonathan Edwards made a list called the 7 resolves. They were his guiding principles. Now that I have read them, I want them to be mine also.

1] "Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God..."

2] "Resolved, never to give over, nor in the least to slaken my fight with my corruptions, however unsuccessful I may be."

3] "Resolved, never to speak evil of anyone, so that it shall tend to his dishonor..."

4] "Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same."

5] "Resloved, to examine carefully, and constantly, what that one thing in me is, which causes me in the least to doubt of the love of God; and to direct all my forces against it."

6] "Resolved to strive my utmost every week to be brought...to a higher exercise of grace..."

7] "Resolved, never henceforward, until I die, to act as if I were any way my own, but entirely and altogether God's."

TRICKS

The spiritual world has an unfair advantage over us. For the most part, the spiritual world is invisible. And unlike we mortals who are destined to die, spirits live indefinitely, not having to re-learn the same information generation after generation. Consequently we are easily deceived. Satan and his minions are thoroughly practiced in their deceptions. Something as simple as a lifetime of distraction can keep a soul from examining God's truth. I'll make it even more subtle. A lifetime of compassion and good works can be a lifetime of distraction from God's truth.
When the Bible says that "satan masquerades as an angel of light, " 11Corinthians 11:14, it is telling us the truth. I don't know about you, but if I ever saw an angel of light, I would probably be most inclined to pay very close attention to what it said to me.
The apostle Paul was keenly aware of this kind of deception. He warned the church at Galatia that even if an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the original gospel, let him be eternally comdemned.
This stern warning was made to protect the church. It was also made to heighten the awarness of new believers to be on their guard against such deception. The zenith of such deception is to convince the mortal mind that he {satan}, does not exist. By appealing to our sense of fair play, or more commonly our sense of, things unseen simply do not exist, satan gains the upper hand and we have been outflanked.
I refer to this strategy as a trick. It is a trick. A low down dirty trick. A trick so subtle as to be undetectable. A trick so thoroughly executed by evil, that it's very cloaking is invisible.
When it comes right down to a fight, a 357 Magnum is referred to by most men as the great equalizer. When it comes right down to a spiritual fight, God's word is the great equalizer. Every unmasking that I have referred to in this post has it's origin in the Bible. Without this book of God's truth, we would be left to what ever we could conjure up, in our battle against evil. But with this truth we are able to see the battle for our soul and understand our enemy and know his battle plans. God's word neutralizes what I called the "unfair advantage of the spirit world." The challenge for most of us is, do you believe the Bible really is the word of God to all mankind? As you're thinking about that question remember what the ultimate deception is. Satan doesn't exist. There is no spiritual battle.
In my own life, independence was my goal. Self sufficiency appealed to my pride. Logic was my polygraph test. But now I have learned something very important. The path from God is independence. The path to God is dependence.

THE SPIRITUAL DISCIPLINES

There are seven primary spiritual disciplines. They are Bible study, Bible memorization, prayer, worship, evangelism, serving and stewardship. I have not listed these in order of importance. Since these represent the major spiritual disciplines they are all of equal value in the life of the committed Christian.

Personally I tackled these disciplines one at a time. Shortly after I was saved, I prayed and told the Lord that I was not going to participate in his church or giving any money to his church. That was a mistake, but it was what I did. So, I eliminated two of the disciplines right off the bat, stewardship and worship. After that I began reading my Bible everyday, followed by personal prayer. So, without knowing it I was exercising two of the spiritual disciplines in the early days of my Christian life.

Establishing those two disciplines led to curiosity about the others. I began to understand that giving was part of the Christian's life, because the Bible told me so. The same was true of serving, evangelism and worship. All of these things are modeled in the Bible. The only discipline I didn't find modeled in the scriptures was memorization. Actually, it was modeled all over the place, but because the word memorize is no where to be found in the translation that I study,[NIV], and I am a real literal guy, I had to learn the discipline of memorization through the encouragement of another man.

As I say, I ventured into these disciplines pretty much one at a time. As the discipline became an established part of my life, I embraced the next discipline.

I am not recommending this, one discipline at a time idea. Every man has his own way of learning and growing in Christ. What I want you to know is that God is patient and encouraging and forgiving. These are all wonderful traits of God, but they are not to be used as an excuse for laziness. Neither the Old Testament or the New Testament give any quarter to laziness. Having said that, God knows how you are wired and He knows how long it will take you to get a spiritual discipline firmly established in your life. Work dilligently at establishing these disciplines. Work at it as though your spiritual life depended on them, because your spiritual life does depend on them.

One final caution. Don't play at this. Many men worship their work, work at their play, and play at their worship. Don't do that. Examine yourself. Be brutally honest. Don't settle for add ing up the dabbling you've done in these spiritual areas, and then give yourself a passing grade. Chances are you will cut yourself off from the deeper blessings of fellowshiping with Jesus.

Remember, God doesn't want your excuse, He wants your heart.